This morning I’m thinking about the Explain Pain book I’ve posted a little about before. It really illuminated boundaries with my chronic pain for me. It says that originally we were able to do a lot of a certain activity (like walking) and there’s a point at which our tissues would need recovery. After an injury or having chronic pain, we’re able to do less of that activity and the point at which our tissues need recovery is lower. (But can grow over time with rehabilitation) There’s also 2 new boundaries that our nervous system puts in place to protect us- the point at which we feel pain, which is now happens WAY before our tissue needs recovering. There’s also a flare, which also happens before the point our tissues need recovery.
So, I’m hoping that waking up with a ton of pain from yesterday is a flare point and not a sign I’m close to hurting myself. My therapist says we’re working on cognitive restructuring so I don’t always see injury as the outcome. And that would be great. I also think it helps when I can avoid having pain this great so my behavior and thinking can follow a healthier pattern.
But I chose to go out last night instead of rest and bring my pain down and stay alone, which would have caused other symptoms of chronic pain, like depressive behavior that turns into feeling like straight up depression.
There are always so many choices and I have to remember there’s no right answer. I just have to remember to do my best with each decision as it comes. And today I’ll rest and bring this pain down so I’m not feeling so crazy, so I can back away from the ledge where I’m staring into the abyss of scary outcomes.